Next Time, Take the Stairs
by ThatBlondeGirl
Summary: A lightning storm in Midgar gets a bit out of hand trapping Sephiroth, The Turks, Scarlet and Rufus in the company elevator. What are they to do? And, who let two blond interns on for the ride?


Next Time, Take the Stairs

By: AngelPaw

* * *

Sephiroth sighed and rubbed his forehead as he leaned over to rest his head on the massive pile of paper work on his desk. Since when had the general of Shinra's army been made to do all the paper pushing of a secretary? Since he had found said secretary slumped over her desk, in much the same way he was now only she had succumbed to blissful slumber. On any normal occasion the general would have woken up the secretary with a string of forceful orders but this was not a normal secretary. No, the unconscious blonde was none other than President Shinra's niece.

Caliana Shinra had to be the only person, in Sephiroth's opinion; to have President Shinra wrapped entirely around her finger. The girl could probably order Shinra to waddle around dressed as a chocobo in the cafeteria and the old man would do it! Sephiroth chuckled slightly at the image of a chocobo-like president.

Glancing back down at his work he sighed again for what felt like the hundredth time that night. This was idiocy! The general of the entire Shinra army was doing paperwork of all things. This was the last straw! The falling asleep at the desk was all right, the disgusting sludge she brought to his office and called coffee every morning was bearable and the 'Sephy's Office' sign she taped to his door had been excruciatingly painful but he had lived. But, this paperwork thing was it!

Stand up from his desk and grabbing the stack of paper Sephiroth headed out with a purpose. He was going to talk to President Shinra and ask, no –demand- that he receive a new, useful, secretary! Striding out into the hall he quickly breezed past the late-night janitors who barely glanced up from their mopping. Things like this were a normal occurrence.

* * *

Meanwhile, in the bowels of the Shinra building the Turks sat around a rickety card table that looked as though they had found it discarded on the side of the street. But, anyone who knew the Turks well knew that this table was where the Turks would gather on late nights and play, what they considered, their nightly go-fish game.

One might think that the Turks would play something along the lines of poker but after a hard day of searching a city looking for people that the president thought was going to kill him; higher level thinking was about as appealing as becoming one of Hojo's experiments.

"Alright, bets in." Tsengs voice rang out in the dimly lit storage room the Turks called their office.

"We playin' doubles?" Reno asked surveying his cards.

"Nope," Tseng answered back. Throwing in two Oreo cookies.

Reno nodded and tossed in two of his own as did Rude.

Surveying his cards with a critical eye Rude contemplated his move. Truly it wasn't a difficult game but being the stoical one of the group Rude needed to keep up his appearance of being just that, stoical, and the best way to do that was to furrow ones brow and look intensely at one's cards.

Just as Rude was about to voice his first question a loud buzz filled the room. The noise was something akin to a fire alarm crossed with a car horn and the combination grated upon their ears.

Sighing Tseng stood up and walked over to a darkened area of the storage closet and answered the phone from which the noise emanated. "Yeah?…Uh huh…uh…huh…we'll be right there, sir." Tseng put the phone back in its cradle. "Sorry guys, we'll have to continue this game another time."

"Damn!" Reno swore throwing his cards down. "I had three ace's, too." He eyed the six Oreo cookies in the center of the table.

"Don't even think about it." Rude said, fixing Reno with a glare while he gathered the cards.

Reno, if possible, slouched even lower in his chair as Tseng put the cookies back into a plastic baggy. "So, Tseng…what's Shinra want us to do tonight?"

"Not sure. Just told us to get to the office right away."

Reno sighed and rolled his eyes. "Seph's pissed and heading to Shinra's office isn't he."

"Probably." Tseng put the cookies back into the safe, one could never be too careful with Oreo cookies, and checked his gun. They weren't going to hurt the General (they couldn't do that if they tried) but it always made the president feel better when his Turks were around him armed to the teeth.

Thunder rumbled outside and shook the building. "Storm tonight." Rude commented as the Turks left their basement 'office' and headed towards the elevator.

* * *

The two interns began to fidget under the Mako tinted stare of the General. This was what he found to be the most annoying thing people did when he approached them. He had seen the two girls around before but it was only briefly. He had never had a need to speak with one of them but after seeing the way Reno had eyed one of them these were the only two girls that would be able to distract the Turks long enough for him to get to Shinra's office. Sephiroth had known for a long time that Shinra had had a camera installed in his office and that whenever Sephiroth left Shinra would immediately call the Turks, fearing for his life.

Glancing at the two fidgeting women Sephiroth sighed inaudibly. Figuring out which one Reno liked would be a bit harder than he original planned. They were both so similar; about 5'7 with blonde hair and green eyes. One would almost think them sisters. And it was true; many people had mistaken the two to be related.

"So, do you both understand what you need to do?" Both girls nodded. "Good." Sephiroth nodded his head in acknowledgment and then turned towards the elevators.

The two interns smiled at each other and followed the general onto the waiting elevator. As the doors closed with a soft 'ding' the group stood in silence as the elevator descended to where the Turks were waiting. 

While standing in the elevator in what could only be dubbed uncomfortable silence Sephiroth took the time to look over his two newly acquired accomplices. At first glance they seemed so very similar but if one looked closely it was obvious that there were stark differences.

The one on his right who nervously shuffling her feet on the ground was dressed in a pair of slacks and pink dress shirt, her blonde hair pulled back from her face in a high ponytail. Her name was Akira, he recalled from when he had been given the internship applications. Her application had been stunning! She had high marks on all of the standard tests sent out by Shinra and was the perfect candidate for Shinra's new intern program.

The only problem came when she first stepped through the doors. The Turks had been assigned to pick her up from the airport-she was originally from Junon- and bring her to meet the president. It was a simple task. Nothing very hard and they were even lucky enough to have Reno stuck in bed with a nasty case of the flu. There had been just one folly in the form of a first class SOLDIER named Zachary.

Sephiroth had heard Zach's side of the story and he assumed it was fairly accurate. Apparently Akira had walking into the build following Tseng and Rude and Zach just could help but notice her and had sauntered over and began to talk with her. Unfortunately for Zachary, and to the great amusement of everyone else in the building, he had missed the line in her portfolio that she was from the Junon slums and not a naïve little rich girl from the upper plate. Sephiroth wasn't sure what happened after that but it ended with a very angry Akira getting on an elevator with the Turks carrying her shoes and Zachary on the ground in a severe amount of pain.

Her counter-part on the other hand-Lidara- was slouching in the corner dressed in a pair of green cargo pants and a black tank-top looking almost the complete opposite of her fellow intern. Unlike Akira, Lidara has seemed to just appear one day and quietly did her own thing, which just happened to be working with the Shinra mechanics and explosive experts. That fact alone was enough to put anyone on edge. Those experts could make a bomb out of just about anything.

These two really did baffle him. Thunder rumbled again and there was a distinct crack of lighting as the elevator dinged and the doors opened letting the Turks on.

"Okay, Seph let's get this over with so we can get back to playing go-" Reno's eyes strayed to the person beside the general. "Akira, hey! How are you?" He walked over to stand next to her.

"Reno! We're working." Tseng reminded also stepping into the elevator with Rude.

"Yeah, but so is she." Reno nodded at Akira and she giggled flirtatiously and batted her eyelashes for kicks.

Everyone else seemed to roll their eyes at the comment, as the elevator made it's way upward; Reno completely absorbed with Akira and oblivious to his surroundings.

Thunder barreled across the sky again shaking the building and lightning illuminated the gloomy city that was Midgar. Akira shrieked and jumped up grabbing onto Reno who was more than happy to hold the terrified woman.

The elevator continued upward and slowed to a stop at the fifty first floor. The doors silently opened to reveal a wide-eyed Rufus Shinra. "What are you people doing here at this hour?"

The group in the elevator remained silent; staring at the Vice-President.

"Working," Akira said from her position in Reno's arms. The rest of the group mumbled their agreement.

"Rufus! Wait for me!" A high pitched voice yelled from somewhere on the floor.

"Shit!" Rufus cursed silently and ran onto the elevator and hit the 'close door' button just in time to see Scarlet turn the corner. "Come on…please…door shut…" He mumbled and right before the door closed and abnormally skinny arm reached through preventing the closing of the door. Rufus sighed in defeat and moved over to allow a small space for Scarlet.

"Made it!" Scarlet smiled to herself and straightened her red gown out on her unhealthily skinny body. "Rufus I could have sworn you started to run from me when I called out to you but I must have been mistaken."

Sephiroth now understood the reason Shinra had so much trouble improving the standard SOLDIER weapons. Their weapons expert seemed more likely to compete in the Ms. Midgar pageant (and loose, mind you) than actually develop anything.

"No, Scarlet," Rufus laughed nervously looking about the elevator for some kind of assistance. "I just saw…Lidara," He slung an arm around the young woman's neck ignore the glare of displeasure that crossed her face. "And I remembered I needed to talk to her about our new motorcycle."

"Oh, well in that case go right ahead." Scarlet smiled and turned her attentions to the stoic general as another bout of thunder rumbled through the sky and a flash of lightning crackled.

The lights in the elevator car flickered on and off for a few seconds and its ascension halted momentarily before continuing on its way.

"I don't think we should stay here much longer," Reno said setting Akira down next to him but leaving one hand around her waist. "The elevator might get stuck, ya know."

"It will be fine…we're almost there," Tseng reassured the red head.

"Great…" Lidara spoke from her slumped position under Rufus' arm. "You just jinxed us."

"I did…" The lights flickered out and the car ground to a halt. "…not."

Lightning flashed across the sky and thunder rumbled again. And in the darkened car there was a shriek and a thud accompanied by another yell and thud.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Akira spoke, cringing. "Who'd I land on?"

"Me…" Scarlet groaned from under Akira.

Akira gasped, "Did you break anything?"

"Um…Akira," Lidara spoke, her voice coming from somewhere near the door. "You kinda took all of us out." A series of groans of conformation were heard around the small area.

Lightning flickered again giving Akira a clear view, momentarily of everyone. She was indeed sitting on top of Scarlet but Scarlet had some how managed to situate herself on top of Sephiroth who had fallen backwards into Tseng who must have tried to grab onto Rufus and sent the vice-president and Lidara sprawling to the floor. Rude seemed to be the only one unaffected while Reno just look disappointed at the fact that Akira had jumped away from him instead of into his arms again.

The group quickly righted themselves only this time everyone was seated on the floor except Sephiroth and Tseng.

"Go fish anyone?" Rude asked pulling out the stack of cards from earlier and fishing out a few emergency flashlights from the box on the wall.

* * *

"Well, Rufus, "Akira spoke her black high-heeled shoe dangling from her finger. "I take your bet!" Akira tossed her shoe onto the pile of clothing and accessories in the middle of the elevator. Sephiroth was amazed at how comfortable the interns had become and was a little wary about their openness

After being stuck in the elevator for about an hour and a half the group had grown bored of Go-Fish and decided a game of Black Jack would be much more interesting and thus the bets began. It had started simply with watches and jewelry but slowly weapons began to be added and then clothing.

Currently there were only three players left in the game…everyone else having bet and lost all they were willing to give up.

"You're betting you're shoes against my Versace dress shirt and blazer?" Rufus asked eyeing the footware critically. What the hell was he going to do withwomens dress shoes?

"They're Prada." Akira spoke confidently. Tactfully ignoring Lidara's shriek of 'That's where our rent money went!'

"Alright," Rufus sighed and the two looked towards Sephiroth.

A pair of keys were tossed into the pile and made a small chink noise as thunder once again made its way across the sky.

"Seph…I don't think Akira can afford betting against your car." Rufus spoke eyeing the keys.

A shirtless Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "They're the keys to my summer home in Costa Del Sol. I'll offer up a free one-month vacation there."

"All expenses paid?" Akira eyed the keys hungrily. She'd been dying to go on a vacation.

"Except personal ones, yes."

Rufus rolled his eyes, "Think you can keep up, Akira. The stakes are getting pretty high?" The vice president slipped off his shoes and through them into the pile to equal the value of Sephiroth's bet.

The blonde intern sighed mentally going through everything left on her person she could bet.

"Don't even think about betting our house!" Lidara yelled from her own game of Black Jack against Rude as she tried to regain her shoes. "I'm betting it against Rude's car."

Akira rolled her eyes and held up the little emergency flashlight (three of which the group had found in and emergency box) to her cards. She really wanted that vacation. Slowly she began unbuttoning her shirt (and much to the disappointment of Reno a pink camisole was underneath it) and placed it into the pile.

"That's not going to cut it." Rufus said eyeing the collard shirt.

"I know, I know…" Akira looked around the elevator. "Scarlet, can I bet your dress? Don't worry I'm not going to loose!"

"I don't think so." Scarlet rolled her eyes and huffed. There was no way that little blonde twerp was going to win against Sephiroth or Rufus. The skinny weapons expert had given up on the game very early on, only loosing her diamond stud earrings to Lidara and what she was going to do with them Scarlet hadn't a clue.

"Akira, here," Tseng tossed a gun over to the blonde intern from his stash of weapons he had acquired over the night.

"Thanks!" The girl smiled and put the weapon on top of the pile. "That should do it!"

Thunder rumbled quietly across the sky for the umpteenth time that night. Slowly the storm had begun to die down but the occupants of the Shinra elevator hadn't noticed.

* * *

The lights flickered back to life in the presidential office and President Shinra slowly made his way out from under his desk and looked around cautiously. Deeming the office safe he quickly hurried his way to the elevator a blue blanket and stuffed chocobo clutched tightly in his chubby hands.

Hitting the down arrow the president waited nervously, praying the power would hold until he could get down to his limo and home to the rest of his plushies.

The elevator door opened with a soft 'ding' to reveal some of his most esteemed employees (and his son) in very odd predicaments.

A blonde woman wearing a camisole was prancing around a shirtless Sephiroth and Rufus (both of whom looked stunned) while a large pile of clothing and weapons was assembled in the center.

Another girl was wrestling Rude to the ground screaming about houses and shoes while Scarlet was attempting to retrieve her personal hand gun from Tseng but he kept pushing her hands away from the small weapon.

Oddly enough, Reno seemed to be the only one that looked remotely normal in the scene of chaos that had presented itself. The red-haired assassin looked up at the president from his position in the elevator and nodded in greeting before stepping of the elevator giving the president brief advice, "Next time, take the stairs."

* * *

AN: Okay, a few thingsto explain…

Who are Akira and Lidara?

They are two original characters (obviously) who are in a fanfic I am co-writing with one of my friends. (It will be posted eventually and it's already 200 pgs) So, until that is posted just look at them as interns at the Shinra building who tend to run-a-muck. (If you really want to find out more tell me in you review or e-mail me)

This little one-shot I might make larger and add chapters that have a small relation to the last but other than that not much; kind of like episodes of a TV series. So, if you all want me to do that please tell me and I will! Also, if you have any ideas feel free to share them!

R&R 

Xoxo

AngelPaw


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